Confessions of a Part-time Sorceress Review (Book)
Author: Shelly Mazzanoble
Release: September 2007
Book Website: Confessions of a Part-time Sorceress
Review
‘OMG! So, like should I like totally heal someone or something?’
That is where this book is taking D&D – into the depths of the florescent malls, the spawning pool of the brand-name crazy Valley Girl.
It inspires visions of D&D, one of the last bastions of Geekdom, being besieged by a vast horde of vapid Valley Girls – all stepping to the beat of the N’Sync drums, in their name brand shoes, brandishing their name brand bags.
I am sure you can all tell that this book wasn’t written for me. I seem to have a few strikes against me. Firstly, I have actually played D&D quite a bit and enjoy it. Secondly, all the name brands, the gushing about shoes and makeup are completely wasted on me. Thirdly, I have a low tolerance for marshmallow fluff in my D&D.
I did really want to like it. The assumption was that it was a guide for beginners, which I was fine with. It’s never a bad thing to brush up on the rules, even the basic ones. Maybe there would be some cute anecdotes or possible funny ‘new girl in gaming group’ situations.
My patience with the book started to be seriously tested when the author used fake celebrities to describe alignments.
“Neutral Good Celeb: Being a neutral good character doesn’t just involve good character. A billion dollar bank account, some cool shades, and an accent so smooth it could spread toast on always helps. Anyone can write a check with armies of zeros attached, but not everyone will get the hem of their Versace jeans dirty trying to make a difference.” (pg. 49)
That description doesn’t make sense to me at all. It in no way conveys what neutral good is supposed to mean. When I think of a Neutral Good character I think of someone that tries to find the best outcome for everyone while working within a given situation. How does dirty pants describe that, and who gives a shit that they are Versace?!
This book reads like ‘Sex in the City’ meets D&D. That the mere mention of celebrities, name brand clothes and shoes will entice girls to want to play with dice and actually use pencil and paper is so strange to me.
The finer details that make D&D so rich are not well conveyed. Too much of the book is wasted on trying to be cute and thus completely fails to explaining the game in such a way that would make it accessible to a lay person.
There are some cute anecdotes to be found, but after the first chapter I couldn’t get past the author’s need to appeal to the lowest common denominator. Where is the Smart Women’s Introduction to D&D? All in all, the end result for me was that I was more repulsed then drawn in.
“Are we playing D&D or how to be a Hilton sister?” (pg. 68)
After reading this in the book, I felt no remorse about putting the book down and walking away. That’s what the poor soul that ended up playing D&D with the author should have done as well.
I eagerly await the new D&D manuals by this author- “My pretty Steed” and “Couture Chain mail”.
Rating
Maybe somewhere out there is a girl that will appreciate it. It just made me want to hide.
Tags: books, creepy, d&d, drama, guide, rants, roleplaying, silly
